“Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?”

That is what Pastor Stovall asked us. It reminded me of a very powerful and life changing experience I had with God.

I was at a place in my life where I was quickly realizing that I was not in control of anything! Finances, relationships, self-control all seemed to be way out of whack and I had exhausted my Plan A and Plan B.

I knew that I needed God or I was just going to drown in these burdens. Out of sheer desperation, I sought God. I knew that I needed Him and that no one else was going to be able to help me.

If you don’t know how to seek God or how to pray, let me give you peace; just cry out to God.

There is no right or wrong way to do it. God sees your heart and knows your innermost being. Just be real . . .

And I needed to be real with God, so I planned a day when it would just be Him and I, no interruptions. I needed to put down my guard as the one with everything under control. As the one that is cool, calm and collected but a train wreck inside!

I got on my knees, asked God to forgive me of my sins and to help me be more like Him.

I wanted to experience Him in a fresh new way that would leave me different than when I started this prayer. I prayed for everything and everyone I could think of. I worshiped Him and gave Him thanks for everything He has ever done for me and in the midst of this day alone with God, I experienced an awakening.

As I prayed and cried out to God, the spirit of God consumed me and He allowed me a brief but life changing glimpse into His heart. It was an experience I will never forget.

I experienced the broken heart of God.

God’s heart that is broken for you and me.

I was unable to say anything and my heart broke like it had never broke before. I experienced grief on a whole new level.

God immediately spoke to me and said, “Why do you make choices that will take you down a path of destruction and pain? It breaks my heart. Don’t you know that I have plans for you. I want you to experience joy, love and peace like you will never find in this world. My heart breaks as I watch you suffer because you make wrong decisions. I am here waiting for you, longing to bring you on a journey greater than you can ever plan for yourself or even comprehend. Choose my ways.”

I will never forget feeling the pain that God feels for you and me when we make bad choices.

It seems so obvious that His way is the absolute best plan we could choose for our lives. However, daily we choose those things that turn us aside and cause us to stray from the plans and purposes of God in our lives.

Those little “oh, it’s not a big deal” compromises that seem so small . . . somehow that one little degree of compromise takes us hundreds of miles off course in the end.

It was specifically for these poor choices that God allowed me to experience how much it saddens Him as He watches us walk through these disappointing times in our lives. When He is just waiting for us to surrender to Him so we can experience the fullness of His glory.

I remember sobbing so hard that day that in the end my face was swollen and my body felt like a rag. I know this sounds bad, but I felt like I was walking on a cloud because I just encountered the living God. I had more peace, joy and a new understanding of God’s love for us and it was euphoric.

As Pastor Stovall asked during the Awakening series, “Have you really ever walked with God?” I realized that there are some of you that God is weeping for right now.

In this very moment His heart is broken for you and wants to wrap His arms around you and bless you.

I challenge you to fully surrender to God and humble yourselves before Him today. Get on your knees and cry out to God for a fresh new revelation of His goodness.

If you are reading this and wondering will I know God’s presence? Yes! It is not a mystery.  It is a powerful and life changing moment that is as real and sure as this computer you are looking at.

When you experience God there is nothing to question or figure out.

I am always blown away by the immediate response from our loving God when we humble ourselves and truly seek Him. God wants a relationship with us even more than we can comprehend. Let Him start an amazing work in you. Surrender to Him today and experience an awakening.

We are praying and thanking God that 2008 will be the year that God reigns in your heart and home.

Nicole Phillips
Celebration Staff