Breaking out of the prison of unforgiveness
Testimonies January 15th, 2008I started the 21 day fast last Wednesday.
That night when I went to bed, God woke me up and I was a little “aggravated” as I don’t like to get woken up. I pretty much just was like “What do you want, let’s cut to the chase.”
I felt a drawing to my dresser drawer and for me to open it up and look for something. I did it, but thought to myself, “This is stupid, there isn’t anything in here. I will go get my Bible instead.” But I still felt like the drawer was where I needed to look.
This was around 3:00 a.m.
I looked through papers and then flipped to one in particular. On the back was an address of someone from another state so that I could keep in contact. On the other side was a flyer from their church.
But at the bottom was a phrase that hit me like a ton of bricks.
It said, “Forgiveness means the person who hurt you doesn’t have to pay.”
I know what God wanted from me. I had been holding unforgiveness towards someone for over 2 years and it was time to let it go and be free. I thought I was holding them in a prison, when in reality I was the one in the prison.
I was woken up again last night at the same time. I emailed the person but don’t know if they will ever read it or ever see it. I hope so as I lost contact with that person a long time ago. I emailed them what I had been feeling and gave them the saying from the paper and also quoted them a line in The Lord of the Rings.
Theoden [recovering from imprisonment by a spell]: Gandalf.
Gandalf: Breathe the free air again, my friend.
It is nice to know that I am no longer in that prison and that it’s not that big a deal anymore.
Unforgiveness is truly a prison in which people need to be set free from. It is hard to deal with but I die daily to this and will need to remind myself. It is great what God is doing.
Also, my family is struggling this month financially wondering whether or not we would make ends meet because my wife is injured and out of work. We had already decided we were going to tithe no matter what starting in January. Of course, we didn’t know “no matter what” would be like this. I was really wondering how it would work, but it has worked so far and we have been able to make it. We will trust God to make it the rest of the month and the rest of the year.
Can’t wait to see what happens next . . .
January 15th, 2008 at 7:03 am
What an awesome word. I too have held some unforgiveness. That word really spoke to me. I can see now that I have to forgive those people who have hurt me so that I can be free and that they can be free. Thank you for that. It has set me free !!
January 15th, 2008 at 8:05 am
That nudge in the the middle of the night with direction and instruction….Awesome! The lord has incredible plans for you. Keep on trusting in the lord. You are not alone concerning finances. I had to take a lesser paying job and Jaymie lost her job when the building industry colapsed. I will tithe and trust him no matter what! Although things seem slim, I have never been so excited in my life!!
January 16th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
“Forgiveness means the person who hurt YOU doesn’t have to pay.”
Wow, when you read that you can feel how hard it is to let someone off the hook for what they did to you buuuut when you think about it you can hear yourself saying “man, i hope that so & so forgave me b/c i don’t want to ‘pay’ for the pain, that i caused, any longer”. When you think of it in those terms it is easy to realize the importance of letting go & letting God. All of us want to be released & have God heal us from all the ‘wrongs’ we did to others. So who are we to hold that back from others.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
The title of your Testimony is what struck me. The person that I need to forgive is in prison, literally. Yet, I daily am burdened with bitterness and anger toward them that I can’t seem to release because I am haunted by the memories of the hurt they caused me. Your post helped me realize, that I am imprisoned as well regardless of my physical freedom. Thank you.